My birthday is coming up, and all of the lovely friends and mothers in my life have been asking me what I'd like. What kind of cake? What kind of party? What kind of cute thing for my new apartment?
You know what sounds like the best treat, though?
To make all of my choices out of love for myself.
To stop sacrificing my own health and happiness as I try to please others.
To choose foods, thoughts and activities that make me feel great now—and later.
This is my birthday present to myself: to practice radical self-love for thirty days straight. And you can join me! Do you need a reason to spoil yourself for a month? Well, no, you don't, but just in case—here's a great reason. For my birthday present, I would like all of you to love yourselves for a month.
I'm sensing a lot of blank stares out there, but bear with me. Here's how we'll do practice self-love together:
First, sign up for my special Thirty Days of Self-Love mailing list. I'll send you a note every day to guide you through this progress. You can share your stumbling blocks and successes, and we'll help troubleshoot each other's rough patches.
Next, figure out what "self-love" looks like for you. Take some quiet time with your journal to mentally comb back through your life. Where have you been sacrificing your own health and happiness to please others? Here are some areas of your life to check out:
Do you eat in a hurry, or eat foods that make you feel yucky, because you "don't have enough time"?
Do you devalue your own needs and wants in order to make people you love feel comfortable?
Do you downplay your strengths and accomplishments?
- Do you stay up later/drink more/exercise less than you'd like to?
Be compassionate with yourself as you comb through these moments. There's no room for judgement here; just acknowledge where you've been devaluing yourself. After you sign up, you'll get an email from me wherein I'll share all of my own self-sacrificing habits. You’re not alone!
Thirty Days of Self-Love is not about being vegan for thirty days, or giving up sugar, alcohol, caffeine and red meat. This is DEFINITELY not about beating yourself up if you "fall off the wagon," and it's also not about being perfect.
Let's break it down. This is what Thirty Days of Self-Love is about:
Which means there's no starting over, and there's no giving up. Everything that happens during this time period is just part of the game. For thirty days, we'll both make "mistakes," and we'll learn and grow and get support where we need it.
This means you! You can share this program with whoever you'd like, and October can be Thirty Days of Loving Other People, but this month is about YOU. That's your only compass. Ask yourself questions like, "What would make ME feel good?" "What can I learn from this?" "How can I take better care of MYSELF?"
The easiest way to define love is to think about how it feels to love someone else. Conjure up your partner, child or best friend. What do you want for them? How would you speak to them? How would you feed them? That's love, and that’s how you’re going to treat yourself.
If you're struggling with this "self-love" concept, you can download my Introduction to Self-Love Workbook. If this all sounds really scary to you, that's okay! We're going to do this together.
My best friend says that every big choice in life feels like a huge mountain and you're standing alone at the bottom. You're wearing the wrong shoes, a storm is coming in, you're terrified that you'll be struck by lightning and eaten by wolves—but you have to climb the mountain. You know that this choice is the best one for you. Choosing self-love is a brave choice, but you don't have to do it alone. We're all terrified, standing at the bottom of the mountain. But this time, we'll be together, and any time you need help, this community of amazing women is here for you.